


In Dreams

by Tealroots



Category: Fall Out Boy, My Chemical Romance
Genre: Bandom - Freeform, Cute, Fluffy, M/M, dream!au, kinda sad whoops, theres like... one Bowie reference
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-20
Updated: 2017-01-20
Packaged: 2018-09-11 16:52:44
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 5,963
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8999059
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tealroots/pseuds/Tealroots
Summary: Based on the song In Dreams by Roy Orbison, this story follows Patrick Stump, a boy in a coma, and Gerard, a mysterious man who keeps Patrick company in his dreams.





	1. The Beginning Is the End is the Beginning

**Author's Note:**

> Dedicated to my best friend Trick.  
> Hope you're happy wherever you are.

_In dreams, I walk with you_  
_In dreams, I talk to you_  
_In dreams, you're mine all the time_

 

  The candy colored clown they called 'The Sandman' tip-toed into his room one night, and although he'd caused it to happen, he seemed to be stuck in an endless sleep.

  He'd only wanted sleep, but the shadows didn't let him get it. It seemed he could never get enough sleep. Insomnia sucked.

  So _maybe_ he'd overdone it _a bit_. Well, _a lot_. And now it was all black. At least, for a while it was; that is, until his eyes allowed him to see color again.

  He looked up to see a hill, standing tall and mighty, right in front of him.

  It seemed to be daytime, the sun shining in his hair, though he couldn't feel any of the heat. He'd then moved to go up the hill, only to find an apple tree residing there, a boy sat underneath it.

  "Who are you?" He asked.  
 

  The boy stood up, his features being revealed. The tall, lanky, and pale boy stretched out his arms and let out a yawn, an apple clutched in hands. When he opened his eyes, he revealed beautiful hazel eyes, and his pink, yet chapped, lips whirled into a cute little smile. He ran a hair through his shoulder-length black hair, which Patrick was surprised to see that its roots were dyed a pretty teal color. He bit into the apple, chewed the chunk for a bit, swallowed, then finally responded: "Call me G."  
 

  "Well, hi, G," said Patrick, waving a bit.  
 

  "It's rare that I get to see anyone in my dreams," said G, a cigarette magically appearing in his hands. He took a drag and let out a big puff of smoke, and Patrick stared at him curiously.  
 

  "You give off a sort of mysterious vibe," informed Patrick, crossing his arms and cocking a hip to the side. 

  G shrugged, his smile becoming more a smirk than what it had originally been. With a wave of his hand, his cigarette disappeared, and he replied, "I mean, I guess I mean to give off that vibe sometimes."  
 

  Patrick nodded and looked off at the sky. The day it had once been had seemed to quickly turn into night and, with no light pollution, as anyone would expect, especially since the two were set inside a dream, the stars shone brightly, on display for the two boys who looked off to the stars in admiration.  
 

  "Nice night, isn't it?"

  "Yes," Patrick agreed. 

  G got down and laid on his back on the grass, patting the grass next to him, signaling Patrick to join in.

  Hesitantly, Patrick allowed himself to be included, looking up at the stars with G. 

  "Tell me about yourself," G insisted, sending a warm smile in Patrick's direction, making the younger boy's stomach do a little flip.

  G was absolutely beautiful, and Patrick couldn't help but just enjoy the view. 

  "Well," Patrick bit his lip. "Not much to say, I guess."

  "Oh, cmon. I'll tell you about myself if you confess," G pleaded, giving Patrick puppy dog eyes.

  "Well, alright, I will," he smiled gently. "I'm Patrick. I'm 18, a big music nerd, I guess, and just a genuinely plain ol' geek," he paused, glancing at G, who seemed interested. "Sorry if I sound cliché," Patrick apologized. 

  G chuckled, "Clichés are my kind of thing, kid. Now _cmon_ keep talkin," G urged.

  Patrick continued, lI play stuff and write songs, I guess," he shrugged. "But they're never any good."

  G rolled his eyes, "I bet you're a fucking _pro_ at all that stuff."

  Patrick shook his head, "Not at all."

  G huffed, "Well, if you say so, but you'll have to play for me someday."

  "How would I, anyway? You're just a _dream_ , G," Patrick informed.

  "I actually _exist_ , though, Patrick. I go to art school and shit! I'm, like, 20, and living the lonely life. I'd like to think I'm very much real, mainly because I really _am_. If anything," he argued. " _You're_ the dream."

  "I'm not even sure _if_ I exist anymore," sighed Patrick. "For all I know, I could be dead, and you can just talk to spirits in dreams."

  "How would you be dead?"

  "I took too many of them," Patrick said. 

  "Ah, the pronoun game," huffed G. "Took too many of _what_?"

  "Sleeping pills," Patrick answered. "I passed out after a while, and I just saw black. Now I'm here, in a dream with you, I guess."

  G looked concerned, a look of sorrow apparent on his face.  
 

  His figure wavered a bit. 

  "Anyway," Patrick laughed nervously. "It's your turn."

  "Oh, yeah," G seemed to be put out of a sort of trance. He wavered even more, becoming more opaque by the minute. 

  "Why're you getting all like that?"

  "Like what?" Asked G. 

  "It's like you're fading out of our dream," said Patrick. 

  G looked down at himself, slowly beginning to realize what was happening to him, only letting out an " _oh_ " of surprise. 

 "G?"

  G looked at Patrick and sighed. "I seem to be waking up."

  "Oh?"

  "I'll see you soon, Tricky."

  And with that, he disappeared, leaving Patrick alone with his thoughts and stuck inside his own head while he lay dying, possibly in a hospital.


	2. Pink Station Zero

  _Come back to us,_ they said. _We miss you._

  He'd just continued to sit under the apple tree. There seemed to be no real way of getting out of his sleep, but what did it matter? Patrick spent his time eating apples and singing to himself. It was an awful bore, but there was nothing he could do about it. Besides, it didn't feel any different from his reality, the only difference was that he had more things to keep him entertained.

  He stared up at the seemingly endless night sky, and raised an eyebrow when it all seemed to fade. Patrick felt like he was going down a rabbit hole when he found that he was in totally a different place than he'd previously been in. He seemed to be in some sort of spaceship, all futuristic looking as if literally coming out of a science fiction novel.  
 

  "Whoa," Patrick breathed, running his pale hands along the controls.

  "Oh, you're back?"

  Patrick whipped around and saw someone familiar standing in front of him. It was G, the only differences being he had a blue tinge to his skin, his eyes seemed to change color constantly, perhaps with every emotion he felt, and he had red, short hair. He sported black skinny jeans, black converse, and a pink sweater that read Pink Station Zero in white text. "Well. . . you _did_ tell me you'd see me soon, G."

  G bit his lip. "Call me Zero this time. Fits my dream."

  Patrick made a face, but obliged, "What's your dream about, then, _Zero_?"

  "Touring the galaxy in a UFO, of course," Zero explained, acting as if it was already obvious. He continued, gesturing at the interior of the UFO, "This is how I imagine the UFO's insides would look like, kinda like in sci-fi comics and novels."

  _Well that explains the sci-fi feel, then_ , Patrick thought to himself.

  "So!" Zero exclaimed, making Patrick jump in fear. Zero seemed to notice this and giggled a bit, "Oops. Sorry. I scared you, didn't I?"

  Patrick nodded but urged Zero to continue what he was going to say.

  "Patrick, my dear," Zero announced, taking Patrick's hand and showing him the stars and a view of Earth, which sat peacefully outside. "Would you like to tour the Galaxy?"

  "Well, by the looks of it: yes, I would most definitely like that. Especially since I don't think I'll be able to see anything anymore... Considering I'm probably dying."

  Zero frowned and squeezed Patrick's hands gently. "Don't say that. Tell me you'll try to survive for us."

  " _Us_?" Patrick asked, raising an eyebrow. "Since when was there an _us_? We only met a dream ago."

  Zero scoffed and gestured at the Earth. Patrick raised an eyebrow at the older boy.

  Ignoring Patrick's statement of only meeting a dream ago, he continued,"Yes, us. The world needs you out there, Patrick. You can help make a difference in it if you'll just keep fighting. I'll help you fight, I can promise that. I'm pretty sure that's why I'm here. . . in your dreams, I mean. I'm here to make sure that you stay alive for the sake of the world. We're not ready to lose someone amazing like you," Zero explained.

  Patrick stood there in shock. He'd never thought anyone would actually care about what happened to him, but sometimes thoughts like that can be full on lies. Because, apparently, someone out there does want to help you fight, and Patrick was slowly realizing this. But, why would he let himself be saved, anyway?

  He was _already_ dying.

  "I'll try," he lied.

  "Good," Zero said, then proceeded to mess with the main controls of the ship. "Hold on tight, Patrick."

  "What? Why? What're you—"

  His questions were eventually answered because the next thing Patrick knew, they were driving at hyper-speed mode, Patrick clinging onto Zero tightly, as seats and seat belts magically appeared for the two.

  Zero screamed with delight, "It's just like I imagined it! Even if I still _am_ imagining it! It just feels so _real_!"

  Patrick responded by throwing up beside his seat.

  Eventually the ship came to a halt, and Zero laughed with pleasure, then made sure to clean up the dream vomit _and_ to make sure Patrick felt alright.

  "Don't want you getting any sicker than you already are, right?"

  " _Right_."

  The chairs and seat belts disappeared. Zero drove the controls and pointed out different planets, as well as stars, and constellations. Patrick just stood watching in awe.

  "Pretty cool, right?" Zero asked Patrick, looking up at his bright and curious baby blue eyes. Zero didn't need to see the Galaxy when it was already embedded in Patrick's eyes, but he didn't say anything about it.

  "Amazing," Patrick gasped, face evident with interest, excitement, and full of wonder.

  "I knew you'd like touring the Galaxy with me," Zero said.

  "Never said I wouldn't," Patrick pointed out.

  Zero shrugged and smiled, "Yeah, true."

  The two stood silently, admiring the galaxy and glancing at one another while the other wasn't looking in order to admire  _each other_.

  Zero was the first to break the silence, "Patrick, dear?"

  "Yes, Zero?"

  "Would you like to dance?"

  "Would I like to _what_?"

  Zero moved and pulled Patrick's hips to his, taking his hand and putting another hand at his waist. "I said _'would you like to dance?'_ "

  Patrick blushed and bit his lip. "Well I guess now that we're already in dance position we could."

  Zero smiled smugly. "Lovely."

  Zero poofed up a stereo, starting to play a whole playlist ranging from Frank Sinatra to Ella Fitzgerald, and Patrick found himself enjoying all of it, slow dancing with Zero. Zero would occasionally take a wrong step, blush, apologize for it, then continued to try to get it down right. Patrick had found it absolutely adorable.

  "Maybe I should take the lead," Patrick suggested, to which Zero obliged, flustered and saying Patrick seemed to be much better than he was anyway.  
Zero still messed up a bit, stepping on Patrick's foot, hitting him with his elbow, or this and that. Patrick didn't mind of course. He only giggled and told Zero that he was doing great, to which Zero only blushed and said a shy "thank you." All Patrick could think to himself was that at least he had someone to be with in his dreams instead of being all alone. Zero was a great friend to have, and it seemed that perhaps it was fate that brought them together in their dreams.

  "Patrick?"

  "Yes, Zero?"

  Zero shook his head and cupped his hands on Patrick's face. "Just call me G. _I know_ I told you to call me Zero, but call me G for now."

  Patrick raised a brow in confusion. "But don't you want to fit your dream theme right now?"

  Zero shook his head. "Not right now. You see, I need to do something," he said, his figure faltering.

  Patrick blushed as G inched closer to Patrick, it going unnoticed how close he was getting, for Patrick's thoughts were clouding his head. And suddenly, he couldn't feel G's hands. G seemed to realize what was happening to him. He pulled away from Patrick and looked down at himself, groaning in what seemed like disappointment.

  "Fuck!" He'd said. "Why _now_?"

"Why now, what?" Patrick questioned, to which G only smiled sadly at him.

  "I guess it'll have to wait. I'll catch you later, Trick," he said softly, doing a little salute, before fading away from the dream.  
Patrick sighed as the scenery around him changed back to its original apple tree on a hill.

  "I wish he'd got to do whatever he was going to," Patrick said to himself. He grabbed an apple and sat staring out at the seemingly endless sky, like he'd done for the past _whatevers_. It didn't matter how much time had passed if Patrick couldn't tell the time, anyway.

 


	3. Confessions of a Pariah

 

  "That's ridiculous," said Gerard, munching on his sandwich. 

  Mikey glared at Gerard, "It's ridiculous but I _have_ to do it anyway. So _maybe_ it would be nice if you could _help me_."

  "I can't do math for _shit_ , Mikes."

  "Thanks for all your help, Gee."

  "No problem."

  Mikey rolled his eyes and directed a glare at his brother.

  "Since you're not gonna help me out with homework," Mikey began. "It'd be nice if you could maybe leave me _alone_?"

  "Sure thing, Mikes," said Gerard, making his way off to his bedroom, sandwich in hand. 

  Gerard liked to think he had the coolest bedroom ever. What, with all the posters and banners that covered his walls and the countless records and cd's he had laying around? In reality, his bedroom was an ugly mess, especially to Mikey, who was normally more strict to organization. But to Gerard, his room was fine and it wasn't going to change anytime soon.  
 

  He sat on his bed and proceeded to eat his sandwich, finishing it and deciding to stare up at the ceiling. While his walls were covered in posters, his ceilings were covered in those glow-in-the-dark stick on stars, mainly because Gerard was always such a slut for anything space related.  
Before he knew it, he was falling asleep.

 

  
  "Boo."  
 

  Patrick jumped in his seat, "Fuck! You actually _scared_ me."  
 

  Gerard chuckled, "What can I say? I'm a professional scarer."  
 

  Patrick laughed and made a face, "What're we in? The Monsters Inc. universe?"

  "Possibly," said Gerard turning the wheel and humming. "Maybe I'm a monster disguised as a human!"

  Patrick put a hand to his heart, clutching it and gasped, "Oh! The _horror_!"

  The two broke out in laughter and as they continued to drive on, Patrick rested his head against Gerard's shoulder. "Where are we going anyway, G?"

  "Well," began Gerard. "You see, this spaceship here, Major Tom, is taking us on a road trip to... Well I'm not sure... But... At least we'll see a whole bunch of cool shit."

  "This isn't a spaceship," Patrick pointed out. "But obviously I'm always up for seeing a bunch of cool shit!"

  Gerard smiled and chuckled, "Good thing we're going places with cool shit in it, then."

  The two sat in silence for some time before Patrick broke it, his fingers tapping impatiently on his thighs.

  "So uhm... If I'm Major Tom to you, would that make you Ground Control?"

  "Certainly."

  "God you have _no_ idea how much of a _slut_ I am for Bowie," Patrick said, to which Gerard admitted to being as well.

  "What's your favorite album?" Gerard asked, glancing at Patrick, who looked beautiful in their current lighting.

  His hair was shining and his skin looked so pretty and pale. Gerard was surprised someone as gorgeous as Patrick was even  _real_. Even if Gerard wouldn't say it audibly, he really wanted to mark Patrick up in hickies and bruises. He wanted to make the boy beg and ache for him. But he wasn't gonna tell Patrick about that. That was something Gerard was gonna keep to himself for now. 

  Patrick thought for a bit, then hesitated to answer, "I love all of his music, but I'm gonna have to go with ' _Low_ ' as my favorite album."

  "Explain why, sweetheart," Gerard insisted, leaning over to tuck a loose lock of Patrick's hair behind his ear, making the younger boy blush.

  "Well. . . it's like. . ." he used a couple of weird hand gestures, which didn't help explain much. "It's catchy pop."

  "Okay,  _and_?" Gerard urged him to continue. 

  Patrick huffed, taking his trucker hat off and running a hand through his silky hair, "It's disturbing. . . A-And it's got this  _violent_ sexuality to it,  _ya_ _know_?"

  He turned to Gerard to see if that was enough, but Gerard made a hand gesture that Patrick rolled his eyes at, but he continued on as asked, "It's kind of like. . . funk music," Patrick explained. 

  Gerard raised an eyebrow at Patrick, then proceeded to interrupt him, "Didn't you already say it was catchy pop?"

  Patrick groaned and punched Gerard playfully on the shoulder, "Shut up and let me finish."

  Gerard laughed, "Alright, alright, Mr. Bossy Pants."

  Patrick pouted and proceeded to finish his reasoning as to why the album was his favorite, "It's this confounding post-Fluxus movement drug opus. It's legit high and low art getting caught in bed together."

  "That's a rather interesting way of putting it," Gerard grinned at Patrick.

  "I meeeean. . .  _I guess_."

  When the car finally came to a stop, the two boys hopped out of the car to tour places from Paris to Greece.

  It was fun, yet exhausting nonetheless, but Gerard enjoyed the trip when it meant he got to hold Patrick close to himself. When Patrick was asleep right beside him, Gerard found he could further study the true beauty that Patrick possessed.

 

\---

  They found themselves back in the car. This was proving to be a surprisingly long dream for Gerard. Who knew he could even sleep so long? 

  Patrick sighed and looked out the window, different sights and colors passing through by the second. "With passing time comes passing lives, isn't that right?"

  Gerard shrugged.

  Patrick pursed his lips.

  Gerard might have glanced over at his lips a bit too long, but that was between just himself. 

  "Do you ever wonder... Whether anyone would notice you were gone at all..." 

  Gerard went stiff, his hand gripping hard at the steering wheel, though he kept his calm. "Well... Who hasn't, dear?"

  Patrick shrugged and scratched hard at his arm. "I don't know... Not everyone would think that unless they really felt like they didn't matter to anyone..."

  "Yeah..." Gerard mumbled. "Yeah, I guess..."

  "If... If I were just gone for a day... No one would really suspect a thing anyway. Right now... I doubt anyones checking up to see if I'm okay in my hospital bedroom. Maybe my mom would, but at this point? She'd give up because I'm probably done for anyway," Patrick said, running a hand through his hair, his eyes starting to water.

  "Patrick... People would noti—"

  "Yeah no you're right... But that's only because people only care or pay attention when you're hurt... Or dead or whatever. Like on the news... Most of the time when there's a murder or whatnot, there's people that just appear on there that you had no idea existed, that you didn't care much about, maybe still don't even really bother to care about, until they're dead."

  The scenery slowly started to fade into black, the car floating in nothingness.

  "Patrick... What're you.."

  Patrick began to cry maniacally, wrapping himself in his arms. "G-Gee... I-I'm n-never gonna be remembered... I-I'm just gonna be left fucking forgotten. I didn't do anything meaningful, I only spent my life whining about it!"

  The car began to slowly disintegrate, the two left to float around in the black. It seemed to swallow them whole. It made Gerard feel anxious. 

  "Patrick no... You're not gonna be forgotten," Gerard tried to calm him, holding him still, hands on his shoulders, facing him. 

  Patrick was red faced, tears running down his porcelain skin, which slowly seemed to crack with every bad thought that came to mind; He might as well have disintegrated along with the car.

  "I-I am! When I'm over with you're just gonna move on and forget I ever existed! Have you ever heard about any people from the past that lived?? No! That's because their lives were just as meaningless as mine will be! People like me and them didn't do shit to impact history, even if we were just a speck of it, we weren't anything worth writing or knowing about!"

  "P-Patrick!" Gerard cried. "Y-You're not gonna be forgotten! I promise! You're gonna fucking wake up from your coma and you're gonna do so many great things..." He ran his hand through Patrick's vanilla scented strawberry-blonde hair. "Trust me. Please."

  "H-How do you even know for sure, G? How do you know I'm not just gonna be some guy who overdosed on sleeping pills because he was an idiot?" He sniffed, looking up at Gerard, eyes looking desperate for an answer. 

  Gerard wiped his tears and sighed. "I just do... I know you're talented... And with how easy you can relate to just about anyone, I know you'll be some sort of help or life support of some other helpless teens. Trust me, you'll go down in history."

  Patrick laid his head gingerly against Gerard's chest, the two on their backs, floating around in an endless abyss. Gerard ran his fingers along Patrick's hair, playing with it. 

  And suddenly, black formed into a beautiful sky filled with an array of different red and orange hues. Gerard and Patrick found themselves sat neatly in a bed of daises. 

  "Shit, we're flower killers now."

  Patrick laughed softly, looking over at the sky. "I guess so, G."

  The two sat calmly in silence, cuddled up against each other. Patrick felt safe and like he actually meant something for the first time in his life since he was a child. 

  "Hey, G?"

  "Yeah?"

  "Why can't I know your name?"

  Gerard cracked a smile at that. 

  Patrick looked up at Gerard, genuinely curious, especially as to why the lanky, greasy haired boy was smiling like an utter idiot. 

  "Well?" Patrick persisted.

  Gerard huffed, "I just wanted to have a hint of mystery to me, you know? Like a secret agent."

  Patrick snorted, "That's lame."

  "Yeah," Gerard giggled. "It kinda is."

  The two stared at the sky in silence as they watched the sun go down. The experience of seeing it all go down was breathtaking. Seeing the sky shift from its beautiful pale blue to its ever mysterious, yet alluring contrasting color. Although it normally happened all the time, this one sunset felt unique to them both. Perhaps it was because they took the time to enjoy how truly beautiful the world could be, but even then, they just sat, not caring what future lied ahead. Either way, they'd always find the time to enjoy something like this. 

  The stars shone ever so bright and brilliantly. 

  "My name is Gerard," Gerard told Patrick, giving him a kind glance and a warm smile. 

  Patrick sat up and faced Gerard, a soft grin slowly creeping up his gorgeously pale face. He took Gerard's hand and squeezed it. "Bonjour, Gerard" he greeted. 

  "Bonjour, Monsieur," Gerard chuckled, squeezing Patrick's hand back gently.

  They went back to cuddling, calmly staring up at the stars. Patrick wanted to stay like this forever. He never wanted this moment to end. He felt like he could just stare up at the stars with Gerard by his side forever, without a care in the world. 

  "Gerard?" Patrick breathed. 

  "Yeah, sweetie?"

  "I don't wanna die..."

  "I don't want you to either," he admitted, caressing his cheek.

  "You think I might make it..?"

  "I know you will. You're strong, dear," Gerard assured. 

  "But sometimes strength isn't useful..."

  Gerard moved Patrick to face him, cupping his cute rosy pink cheeks. "You're gonna survive this, Patrick. I promise."

  "But... Even if I don't... Please don't forget me..." Patrick garbled, due to the obvious fact that his cheeks were being squished.

  "How could I ever forget someone as memorable as you?"

  And before Patrick could respond, Gerard slowly faded from the dream. 

  "You just might anyway," Patrick whispered, before laying back down against the bed of flowers and looking up at an endless array of twinkling lights. "I know you will."

  And with that, the young boy patiently awaited until Gerard's next visit.

 


	4. Soma

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is duuuuumb

_Everything comes and fades_

_Quickly blooming_   
_Slowly wilting_   
_Time dances,_   
_Keeps on prancing,_   
_Daring, slowing_   
_Everlasting, flowing_   
_When candles die,_   
_The sun still rises_   
_Night meets day and_   
_Nature grows and changes_   
_But at the end of the day_   
_Time allows no escape_

_Everything comes and fades_

 

  As time may have it, things happen suddenly. Without warning, things turn out muddily.

  Planes crash, people die. People make love, then people themselves arise.

  But while people were in tragedies, or busy with all their lives, one family found themselves caught in a commotion. And although defying everything, time froze in the process. But they weren't the only ones caught in the freezing cold. 

  A boy with greasy hair and a heart of gold was left in a state of shock. Of all the things that had happened in his life, this may have been one of the worst. He found himself dropping everything when hearing and proceeding to run off to find him.

  Though, only one question lay on everyones mind.

  What ever happened to Patrick Stump?

 


	5. Luna

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter title is based on a Smashing Pumpkins song just like the previous chapter ayyyy lmao.

 

  "You all ask what happened to Patrick Stump," he began. "When you don't even stop to question _why_ this happened to Patrick, or who even made him _want_ this to happen."

  "You didn't even know Patrick," clamored a young man, who's smeared red eyeliner and black flat-ironed hair stood out from the rest of the crowd. "Besides! It was accidental! He was an insomniac!"

  
  Gerard smiled at the man. "I'm positive that I did know him. After all, I'd like to think we were lovers, and I don't disagree that he did as well." 

  Gerard held back his tears and anger. Patrick could've made it, but they had pulled his life support before he could. 

  Gerard remembered seeing Patrick start to look better. He remembered when Patrick began to fade. He remembered the sad smile he'd given Gerard when his touch was like a slap to the face. He was more of an illusion now than the man Gerard had fallen in love with. They'd never had the chance to kiss, or to make love, which only made Gerard more upset.

  He remembered the little weak laugh he'd given as he'd said his goodbyes, and Gerard remembered never getting to kiss the young man goodnight.

  But one thing stood out. The gentle " _I love you_ " was what Gerard really never forgot about.

 


	6. In Dreams

_Though I'm past one hundred thousand miles,_

_I'm feeling very still_

_And I think my spaceship knows which way to go_

_Tell my wife I love her very much, she knows_.

  

  When he'd first laid his eyes on the blue eyed boy, he'd looked innocent and young.

  But as time progressed, Gerard truly saw the effects of what Patrick had done to himself.

  "Gerard," said Patrick one day, or dream, whichever worked at this point.

  
  "Yes?" Gerard had said, his head turned swiftly at the young boy, who seemed to have a lot on his mind and a weight on his shoulders.

  "I don't believe I'm getting any better," Patrick muttered, looking down in shame and hurt. He didn't want to leave Gerard. Not when he'd finally gotten someone who cared about him. Someone who finally had gone and paid attention to him and loved and encouraged him. He didn't want to lose someone he'd  _fallen in love with_.

  "But you _look_ the part," Gerard mentioned, wrapping an arm around Patrick and holding him close as if he were to lose him.

  "I don't _feel_ the part," Patrick admitted, looking up at Gerard with the gaze of a lost puppy.

  "I'm sorry about that, darling," Gerard had told him, kissing his forehead and trying his best to make things feel a little better. Or to, at the very least, clear the room of all the negativity surrounding it.

  "Sometimes I hear them," Patrick whispered, his gaze averting down at the sand. 

  The two sat in their own unique version of a beach, the water a sunset, the skies a galaxy, and the sand, the same as always. Except it was pastel pink!

  "The pronoun game," Gerard sighed, rolling his eyes. "Who's _them_ , love?"

  "My family," Patrick looked like he had been ready to cry. 

  "And what do they say?" Gerard questioned, genuinely curious. He knew it wouldn't be any good news, but he'd really hoped he'd be wrong.

  He was sure that they often spoke of missing the young boy, or perhaps maybe even talked to him about their daily lives. How they'd wanted desperately for Patrick to come back. After all, Patrick was such a bright and energetic soul, contrary to what he'd done, which had been selfish and cold. 

  "They've been talking about pulling me off my life support."   
That was when Gerard's world had trembled, slowly cracking at his foundation. He knew that if all wasn't well, this would eventually happen, but Gerard didn't think it'd come so soon. He thought there'd be more time, especially to prepare himself for it. Patrick's eyes erupted in tears, as Gerard held him close and tried to calm him down.

  "But... they could never do that to you, Patrick.... you're important to them, aren't you?"

  "One would like to think," He'd whimpered through tears, which Gerard had hurried to wipe. "But sometimes... when time passes for far too long, one can start to lose hope. And they slowly think that things might never get better, that things will never go back to how they used to be. And Gerard, you have to understand that.

  You need to understand that sometimes things can't get better no matter how much you hope. You either suffer through it or do something to end that pain; that misery. But just because you can't escape it, doesn't mean there isn't a solution. You can still be happy, but with the situation one might be in, they might have to end something in order to begin anew. But of course, death is never the answer. But in the case of my parents... they've gone through too much trying to keep me alive... they need to kill their own son to try to be happy again, because right now... all I'm doing is making them miserable."

  Gerard was left in awe. He wasn't sure what to say to the young boy, who sat there, accepting that he was going to die, and Gerard couldn't bear the thought of the boy he'd come to love fading into nothing. 

  All he could say when Patrick had explained his dilema that day was " _I love you_ "

  And Patrick had smiled in a sense of bittersweetness, because he knew that he was so close to becoming conscious once again, but that his parent's misery would bring an end to a bright minded boy. 

  He had waved goodbye before Gerard woke up. 

  Sure, Patrick wasn't pulled away from Gerard just yet, but he couldn't help but feel as if someone was sucking the life out of Gerard. He had felt that the universe had only given Patrick to him so that he could grow to love and care for him, only so that in the end it could take him away.   
Life was cruel, and Gerard had never wanted to learn that the hard way, but now he was forced to.   
Everything seemed as it had been before, but now a black veil had come and ended it all. 

  
_But just before the dawn, I awake and find you gone_  
 _I can't help it, I can't help it, if I cry_  
 _I remember that you said goodbye._

* * *

 

 

  Distant.

  That was the word.

  That's what he was, or at least, what he had tried to be. But Gerard wanted nothing of it.

  Patrick turned away. Every time Gerard had tried to show affection, Patrick had smiled weakly but refused the attention. 

  Of course, Gerard had understood why, but he wanted their last moments to be happy, or at least times that they were able to show their affection for one another.  
But that was not the case with Patrick. Patrick refused to show or give an affection, and it only made them both more miserable. 

  Every night, Gerard had said "Goodnight" and Patrick had only sighed and looked at Gerard with a longing and terribly upset expression in his eyes, though his face didn't bother showing it. 

  Gerard had wanted to ask himself where his mind was. Why his feet were in the air and his head on the ground, but he could never figure out why. 

  He'd only figured out why when it was Patrick's time to go. When Gerard had to bid him goodnight and goodbye for good. But right then, he hadn't been sure Patrick was really, truly dead. He'd only thought it was his mind playing tricks on him. He didn't want to believe it.

  But once he heard news of it the day he'd woken up and gone off to school, he felt dead to the world.

 

_But if you say goodbye today,_

_I'd ask you to be true_

_Cuz the hardest part of this is leaving you._

 

* * *

 

 

  Funerals were usually nothing too bad for Gerard. They had free food and in much of the ones he'd attended, which was pretty great considering Gerard was an active advocate for free food. Though, at most funerals, the boy realized that he hadn't really known the person who he was supposed to be mourning, or cared much about them.

  He'd always been bothered by the people who'd always grossly sobbed their eyes out, or blew their noses in his face. It made him lose his appetite, which had always been why he'd come in the first place.

  Though, today things were certainly different, as he finally realized how much of a dick he was, or had been, and how it felt to really lose someone you'd cared deeply about.

  They'd all gone and said their prayers for Patrick, as well as all the good times they'd spent with him. They'd all even talked of how much they'd miss Patrick.   
Some, Gerard had believed, others, though, such as the man from earlier who had claimed that Gerard hadn't even know Patrick, who was revealed to be named Pete, were lying straight through their teeth. 

  But the death of another seemed to bring everyone together, at least, for one day, where they could all appreciate the one who'd been put to rest.   
Gerard had watched and sobbed when they'd lowered Patrick six feet under, and could barely even let out another farewell. 

  All he could choke out was " _I love you._ "  
And on that day, he swore, that he'd heard Patrick say " _I love you, too._ "

 

 

_Ground Control to Major Tom, your circuit's dead,_

_there's something wrong_

_Can you hear me Major Tom?_

_Can you hear me Major Tom?_

_Can you hear. . .?_

 

**_FIN._ **

 

 

 


End file.
